Beginning marriage counseling or couples therapy may feel a little overwhelming for some people, because, in addition to the issues that brought you to therapy, there are a lot of new concepts and skills to learn about. Couples often ask us about helpful book suggestions to facilitate the counseling process. After having worked with countless couples over the years, North Berkeley Couples Therapy Center's relationship counselors have found that there are certain books we consistently refer to people because they are the most helpful. These books will help you understand more about primary attachment styles, nonviolent communication, the negative cycle of conflict, and our physiological need for connection and emotional safety.
The following books are highly recommended for both couples needing a new perspective, as well as for individuals who are un-partnered but wanting to understand more about the way they approach intimate relationships. We have a thorough list of wonderful books about intimacy, communication and relationships on the North Berkeley Couples Therapy Center Bookstore page. Here are some of our favorite reads:
• Wired for Love, by Stan Tatkin, Ph.D. is one of the first books we suggest to the couples we see in marriage and relationship counseling. This book is a concise, clear and helpful way to understand attachment styles and how to create true intimacy & secure attachment. Wired for Love illustrates different ways of relating (via attachment styles) and how our experience in romantic and intimate partnerships is directly influenced by our personal relationship styles, beliefs, and defensive strategies. Dr. Tatkin also offers very helpful techniques and exercises to deepen a couple’s bond. This book can help you understand how you and your partner relate and why. This book is a must read!